Laserjesus
From The Ankyrean Archives
Varian, the Celestine is the origin of all Creation. All that is, was, and will be is thanks only to His Divine Will. Before the universe existed, there was simply Varian. He was Creation, and Creation was Him. In a desire to experience multiplicity and the complex interactions of individuals, He created the universe and this world.
Varian is generally neither a benevolent nor a malevolent god, choosing instead to observe and guide the actions of mortals and immortals, but is swift to correct those who attempt to violate His vision of Creation.
Appearance
He is a radiant Immortal and is roughly twenty feet tall in His current form. Though he is built as a humanoid, He lacks the details of an actual mortal. His limbs are smooth, and while clearly powerful, display no musculature definition. His face is an unnerving blank slate, with gentle curves where the traditional eyes, nose, and mouth tend to be. He glows and crackles with a palpably powerful energy that makes your hair stand on end.
Aliases
- Varian the Satus
- Laserjesus the Celestine
Character Role
Varian rarely interacts with mortals, except to inquire after their choice of operating system.
Player Role
The player behind Varian is essentially the producer of Aetolia. That's Galleus now. Varian's last player, Jeremy Saunders, is running all of IRE now, and Matt, presumably, is swimming around in our credit money like Scrooge McDuck.
History
There have so far been two players behind the character of Varian. Josh Olson and Jeremy Saunders (current).
The original player, Josh Olson, acted as Varian from the time Aetolia was opened up until 6th September 2005, when he was fired by Matt Mihaly, the founder and then-president of Iron Realms Entertainment. The reasons for Josh's dismissal, as taken directly from Matt himself was "Quite honestly, Aetolia has been the source of more complaints than all the other Iron Realms games put together, and has scored the lowest in player satisfaction in every set of polls we've run over the years. It was finally enough for me, and so I did what I had to do." This has largely been noted as the most awesome thing Matt has ever done.
Josh was succeeded by Jeremy Saunders, who was also the producer of Imperian. Jeremy continued his role in Imperian, splitting his time between Aetolia and Imperian. This was the source of discontent for many players, who felt as Aetolia wasn't getting the attention it deserved. On 13th March 2007, Jeremy announced that he was leaving Imperian in order to work full time in Aetolia. ( As a side note, 'Working full time in Aetolia' apparantly consists of random-ass changes to the combat system loosely based on the recommendations of class liaisons and doing fuckall else to improve the game. )
As noted above, Matt apparantly viewed Jeremy as so amazingly good at doing his job that he promoted him to Head Honcho of IRE. After which Matt, having no actual job to do, took his fat sack of zorkmid to Tahiti to hang out with other famous ripoff artists, like Kenneth Lay, and Captain Jack Sparrow.
lolRP
All reality shudders as the voice of Varian the Celestine thunders across the land, "If you are running Windows Vista, please send me a tell."
External information
- Announce #356 concerns Matt's dismissal of Josh Olson as producer of Aetolia.
- Announce #831 contains Jeremy Saunders saying he left Imperian to work full-time in Aetolia.
