Desian
From The Ankyrean Archives
| Desian De'nominating. | |
|---|---|
| |
| Name | Desian Arcan |
| Birth date | 20th Arios, 116 MA |
| Class | Indorani |
| Gender | Male |
| Race | Azudim |
| Status | Undead |
| Level | 102 |
| Alignment | Funny Evil |
| Sexuality | Closeted |
| Marital status | Married |
| Spouse | Elene Arcan. |
| Guild | |
| Guild | Indorani |
| Guildrank | 19 |
| City | |
| City | Bloodloch |
| Positions held | Self-proclaimed God-King of Sapience! |
| Cityrank | 6 |
| Characteristics | |
| Height | TOO TALL (11 foot) |
| Weight | Too -heavy- |
| Hair | Black |
| Eyes | White |
Contents |
The Man
Desian hits through grace, punched back a shrubbing at the old Haern, and porked Vasilus' mother (No easy feat). He is most well-known for his alternate character, Varian.
His accomplishments
Having pillaged the world and inserted his Demonic phallus into every conceivable orifice, Desian now sews and carves in his rocking chair by the fire, and dabbles in politics.
- He is the Drama Queen of Bloodloch.
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He is the Ridiculous Phantom in the Indorani. - He has served as a guildmaster.
- He has reigned as ruler of a city.
- He is an honorary Indiana Jones warrior.
- He can ride his bike with no handlebars.
- He has brought salvation to the Chapel Gardens.
- He has manifested the Underking's will by untainting Goreskrat.
- He has been elected to the ruling council of a city.
- He has been ranked #1 in experience.
- He successfully defended Ciem from invaders.
(Web): Desian says, "I started behead."
(Web): Desian says, "Then someone knocked on my door."
(Web): Desian says, "I left and came back and had two kills."
Many of the rest of Desian's achievements are chronicled here.
The story
Spawned from the sperm of Yettave, Desian kicked and punched his way out of Panma's vagina on the 20th of Arios, 116 MA. Being a thorough snuggly, he was part of the Daru for 6 months before Kanya kicked him out for failing his interview. Shortly thereafter, he rubbed his sore buttocks and sought refuge in the Magi. After gaining class, he thought that old Slyphe was teh BIG shit, so when Galleus suddenly popped in and replaced her, he threw a hissy emo, bitch-worthy fit and left the guild without notice. After throwing away his possessions and disappearing for 10 years, he mysteriously came back and joined the Teradrim guild the instant it opened. His entire offense consisted of smackdown and golem rip.
At some point during this tenure, public:4253 was written, and he has never been able to shake the laughter and failure that has surrounded him since. Failing to obtain guildmaster of the Teradrim, he quit to guildhop to the Magi, then again to the Atabahi after a year. Abusing the shit out of the bugged bashing, he propelled his way to Tekal. Having nothing to do, he was appointed to a secretary position where he did nothing but enjoy the power it afforded him. At this point, there was nobody active in Aetolia who could beat him, not even the living artifact. He was married to Fiora Laurn when Dhaivol afforded him Azudim. The marriage was broken to wed Elene some 60 years later. She will be laying his eggs shortly. (Somehow, Rajas can lay eggs. Through their mouths. Rawr.) That lasted until he ripped her jaw off for boffing Hadoryu.
After many years of raping newbies left and right, he got bored and joined the Indorani, quite possibly the shittiest guild available. In five years, he made Guildmaster and reigns currently. He also turned shitty skills into skills that actually can kill people. Who says INDORANI CAN'T FIGHT WORTH A SOVEREIGN?!?!
Also during this time, Desian replaced Azrael as the Keeper of Bloodloch. He actually did work unlike the previous 3 leaders.
- Desian's keyring holds more keys than there are sheep in Wedric's harem.
- Desian has no combat artifacts, yet still manages to rape everyone in Aetolia. As an Indorani.
- He has still yet to omni-trans, preferring to spend his credits on terribly drawn portraits (see above). Slacking bastard.
- Desian is also known for his ability to absolutely destroy one's reputation by making you do all the work.
Teh Artifacts
- A secure brass keyring
- A glass syringe(3)
- A moist washrag (used to clean up sibilant ichor)
- A customization certificate
- A gem of cloaking
- A war bat (it's so -cuuute-)
- A war standard
- An Iosai lyre
Description
He is an undead dexterous Azudim and is a foreboding figure, the entirety of his eleven foot frame shrouded in coalescing shadow. Midnight black skin is stretched taut over thick, corded muscles, heightening his imposing appearance. His features are stoic, a firm jaw set below stout cheekbones, but his face is worn and rough, wrinkles appearing around his lips and eyes. The whites of his eyes contrast heavily with his dark skin, giving them a frighteningly wide look when open, and blue lips rest under flared nostrils, nearly blending with the colored skin. Thick, dreadlocked black hair, noticeably tinged with sparse white hair, falls across his face. Beneath the locks of hair, a thirteen-pointed star clearly mars his forehead, tiny jade crystals embedded at every tip. Thrusting abruptly from the skin on either side of the star are curved horns of obsidian, curling down and around his ears. Skeletal, veined wings display their batlike presence at his back, in a somber blue tone.
Jewelry/Clothes Whore too. Lookit!
He is wearing:
a studded silver full-fingered ring
a plain leather weaponbelt
a shadowy ring
2 gold stud earrings
tenebrous malachite scalemail
a narrow ring of obsidian
an Infernal Knight's dark ruby ring
a ring of pestilence
a twining armlet of jagged, blackened platinum
a medallion of the Chosen
a silver ring
a pack sewn of human flesh
a deck of Tarot cards
a mhun intestine pocketbelt
a lustrous robe of deep jade
a circlet of aesthesis
3 obsidian ring, set with silvers
a secure brass keyring
a macabre Indorani cloak
a pouch embroidered with a duskywing butterfly
a pair of golden hourglass bracers
a Bloodlochian commemorative medal of Matron Chakrasul
a wide-brimmed fedora hat with a Duskywing buckle
a thirteen-pointed star of the Indorani
a corrupted band of pallid green rosebuds
a necklace of purity
a soft, pink lace collar
A Final Note
Desian is now a verb, meaning "To actually get stuff done". Typically it's used in the context of liaisons where Desian fucks shit up and makes the Indorani interesting. In this context, anything resembling roleplay must go out the window. Thnx.
Alternatively, it is also used in reference for giving out threats when not given your way, then backtracking to cover up doing so.
See also
 is wtf omg overpowered. Nerf plz. | |||||||||
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| Desian is known as one of the Mafiosos of Aetolia for their shocking and frequent abuses of power. |
| Desian is known as one of the PK Whores of Aetolia for regularly administering five bones to tha cage. |
